COVID-19 can go fuck itself

On March 16th, it felt like my whole fucking world just crashed around me. I had been feeling a sense of dread about the spread of COVID-19 but receiving the "Shelter in Place" order from the Mayor of SF put the reality of the situation into sharp focus.

In a matter of hours, I had to prepare to close my business for an uncertain amount of time and put a pause on anything and everything I'd been working on for the last few months. I was forced to make one of the hardest choices I've ever had to in my business and lay off all my staff so they would be able to collect unemployment since I had no idea what this business would look like in a few weeks. I cried multiple fucking times that day (and almost daily for the next few weeks). Not sure what my own business or the vibrant community of small businesses I'm a part of would look like on the other side of this.

I knew that I'd be trading my place as #momboss to stay at home mom which I'm already well aware is not where my strengths lie (and I have the utmost respect for those who full-time mom cause this shit is hard as fuck).

This whole thing has been the most disorienting and surreal experience and I find my self feeling so fucking grateful for the things I have and so fucking angry about all the things I've lost. I'm constantly teetering between these two spaces and quite honestly, it's fucking exhausting. I'm not sure what the "new normal" will look like and I'm trying to remain hopeful that on the other side, things will be different in a good way. But my sentiment right now is COVID-19 can go fuck itself.


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